Saturday, March 15, 2014

Defined

            I struggle. I struggle a lot. I struggle with big things and little things. I struggle.  I struggle a lot.
Recently I have really been struggling with what defines me.  I have valued success, popularity, status, appearance and so much more. I have become deaf to God's voice and I have forgotten what it sounds like when He says, "you're enough. You always have been." Because I have been caught up in worldly things, God decided to talk to me through a secular song, just because He loves me that much.

            I was just sitting there, enjoying pasta and salad with my favorite group of girls-my basketball team.  I was laughing, and having a great time.  We were having a team meal before our first state basketball game and it was kind of a big deal. We were playing the team that had won the state championships three years in a row and were the favorites to win the game against us.  Because I start and normally play the majority of the game, I had been feeling pressure and butterflies in my stomach for a good couple of days.  While I was laughing and enjoying the bonding time with my teammates, I would occasionally remind my self of the game, get nervous, and feel sick.   I was nervous for all the wrong reasons. I was nervous that if I didn't play very well people would like me less or I would like my self less. Then it happened. God spoke.  While I was enjoying time with my friends and subconsciously worrying about myself, Christina Perri's song, A Thousand Years came on the radio. My mind didn't even register with the song until she sang the line, Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years.  And that is when I knew it was God.  I heard His voice clear. He was saying to me, "Emily, Don't be afraid. I love you. Nothing else matters." That's all it took.

           I still was nervous but not for the reasons I was before. I felt peace and comfort in the fact that how good of a basketball player I am, doesn't define me.  HALLELUJAH! I am not defined by materialistic things.
OH HAPPY DAY!!


Just to let everyone know, we won the game. It was an Upset and it was fun. 









No comments:

Post a Comment