Defined

            I struggle. I struggle a lot. I struggle with big things and little things. I struggle.  I struggle a lot.
Recently I have really been struggling with what defines me.  I have valued success, popularity, status, appearance and so much more. I have become deaf to God's voice and I have forgotten what it sounds like when He says, "you're enough. You always have been." Because I have been caught up in worldly things, God decided to talk to me through a secular song, just because He loves me that much.

            I was just sitting there, enjoying pasta and salad with my favorite group of girls-my basketball team.  I was laughing, and having a great time.  We were having a team meal before our first state basketball game and it was kind of a big deal. We were playing the team that had won the state championships three years in a row and were the favorites to win the game against us.  Because I start and normally play the majority of the game, I had been feeling pressure and butterflies in my stomach for a good couple of days.  While I was laughing and enjoying the bonding time with my teammates, I would occasionally remind my self of the game, get nervous, and feel sick.   I was nervous for all the wrong reasons. I was nervous that if I didn't play very well people would like me less or I would like my self less. Then it happened. God spoke.  While I was enjoying time with my friends and subconsciously worrying about myself, Christina Perri's song, A Thousand Years came on the radio. My mind didn't even register with the song until she sang the line, Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years.  And that is when I knew it was God.  I heard His voice clear. He was saying to me, "Emily, Don't be afraid. I love you. Nothing else matters." That's all it took.

           I still was nervous but not for the reasons I was before. I felt peace and comfort in the fact that how good of a basketball player I am, doesn't define me.  HALLELUJAH! I am not defined by materialistic things.
OH HAPPY DAY!!


Just to let everyone know, we won the game. It was an Upset and it was fun. 

My Brother

If for some reason, I won a million dollars, I would tell my brother first.
If I received two plane tickets for anywhere in the world, I would want my brother to travel to Spain with me. Why? Because we always have fun together and he is big and strong so I know he would protect me.  
If my car was to break down, I'd call my brother first.
If my biggest dream came true, It would be my brothers arms I would jump into and we would laugh.
If I accidentally set our house on fire, I know my brother would put it out. 
If I could smash a pie in someone's face, I would smash pie in my brothers.
If I had to be trapped on an island with one person, I would chose my brother. I know somehow, together, we would survive and probably have fun along the way.  

I just really love my brother.




Recently, I've realized, I'm growing up, and my brother is too.  My brother is in college and I don't see him as much as I'd like.  It's weird to think that someday we wont see each other as much as we do now.  I really love my brother. 

 And right now,  I'm just trying to understand why I have to share him with the world.

ELEVEN THINGS, BRO

1.The Great and Mighty God Of The Universe lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders and I feel so free I can fly and laugh and run and jump and sing and scream and enjoy this bipolar Iowa weather. HE IS SO POWERFUL! I DON"T EVER WANT TO FORGET THAT!

2. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in? WELL DO YA?!
I don't. Not right now.

3. I want to be some sort of writer when I "grow up" and through my creative writing class at school, God has been showing me that a career in English/creative writing is actually realistic... I'M PUMPED!

4. Recently I was being interviewed after a basketball game and whenever I'm being interviewed I try to use big words (It's kinda a game I play with myself because I want to sound smart.) and I was thinking ahead, while talking and there was this word I wanted to use but I honestly didn't know what it meant completely but I basically said yolo and went for it. It was cool. I felt brave.

5. One of the rules I live by is HAVE YOUR TOES PAINTED AT ALL TIMES! (because toes are kinda ugly otherwise) Anyway, I painted my toes bright red and because of that, I am getting super excited for summer! Like, who's with me?

6. High school basketball has been over for 5 days and AAU starts tomorrow. I'm  looking forward to this opportunity God has given me. It's going to be a crazy fun/busy summer.♥

7.  Yesterday it was a beautiful 61 decrees and my friend Sarah and I decided to work on our soccer skills (because the season is approaching quickly) We ended up working on soccer for maybe ten minutes and the other hour and a half we spent putting our feet in the mud and feeling it squish through our toes.  We also cheered on the boys track practice and threw a few snowballs at them too. We had a blast.

8. There once was a smart fish of blue,
His friends told him he looked like poo.
But he was so kind,
True love he would find.
A pretty fish he would soon woo.  #limericks #lyfe #ILOVECREATIVEWRITING #yeah #love

9. Spring break is almost here. SPRING BREAK IS ALMOST HERE!

10. I had an A In advanced biology for this whole semester and I have no clue how that has happened.
I is smart, I is Kind, I is good at Advanced Biology.:)

11. My heart longs for the ocean. I'm convinced I have saltwater in my veins. Maybe I'm a mermaid or maybe because I was born in the water, if I'm away from the sea, my heart aches.  Thoughts I shall ponder.

THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!!